Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Distracted Driving

About 90% of the works have been delivered to Seven, and the show is shaping up nicely.

Today Graham Caldwell installed a spectacular set of glass pieces on the second floor gallery walls.

As I was leaving the gallery, my cell phone rang and as I answered it, the cop car next to me at the stop light waved (I thought so anyway), so I waved back as I talked on the phone. He turned his lights on and pointed for me to pull over.


So the cop comes over (after about an uncomfortable five minute wait, while -- I guess -- they're checking in their computer to make sure that I am not a wanted ax murderer or a dead beat Dad).

"Hang on a sec," I say to the person with whom I am talking on the phone. "What's the problem officer?" I ask in my best Hank Hill voice.

"Driver's license and registration please," the cop says curtly. He's a little, wiry, short guy.

"What did I do?" I say putting the cell phone down and reaching down for my wallet while in my mind Richard Pryor says silently: "I AM REACHING INTO MY WALLET FOR MY LICENSE! - 'CUZ I DON'T WANNA BE IN NO MOTHERF&*%^ ACCIDENT!"

He ignores me.

"What did I do?" I say again, my voice a little louder.

"I'll tell you in a minute," he says gruffly looking at my license and registration.

"You were using your cell phone," he accuses.

I look baffled.

"You WERE using your cell phone," he almost shouts as he walks away.

"Aw, crap." I say to myself... "this is DC and it is illegal to use your cell phone while driving."

Summary: $100 fine for Distracted Driving (Cell Phone).


To Tracy Lee, whose work has been included in The Mammoth Book of Illustrated Erotic Women.

You can see some of Tracy's very moist work in Seven.

Kriston on Kirkland

G.P. reviews J.T. Kirkland.

Read it here.