Cinco de Mayo

This Saturday people will be drinking tequila and Mexican beer on a planetary scale, celebrating the fabled "Cinco de Mayo" date.

I always have fun asking people what "Cinco de Mayo," celebrates, and some of the answers that I have gathered over the years have been hilarious. Here's a quiz in fun:

Cinco de Mayo celebrates:

- May 5, 1810 - Mexico declares independence from the Kingdon of Spain. Eleven years later the Spanish soldiers get the memo and leave Mexico forever.

- May 5, 1848 - With the fearsome Spaniards gone, the United States goes to war with Mexico and grabs a huge chunk of land from the former Spanish colony. The Mexicans invent the term "gringo" to refer to the Americans.

- May 5, 1862 - The pissed off Mexican Army, under the command of Texas-born General Zaragosa whips the French Army at the Battle of Puebla. The shamed French Army never ever gets any respect on any other battlefield and becomes the practice runs for the German Army.

- May 5, 1900 - Tijuana bartender Jose Cuervo is horrified to discover that somehow an agave worm has been bottled accidentally in a tequila bottle that he was about to open. Disgusted he throws the bottle in the garbage. It is picked up by six drunk US Navy sailors on liberty, who drink the whole bottle and then get into a fist fight as to who gets to eat the worm. Cuervo notes this bizarre event and takes notes.

- May 5, 1938 - Mexican actress Margarita Carmen Cansino changes her name to Rita Hayworth and becomes an instant Anglo sensation in Hollywood.

- May 5, 1969 - Mexican-Americans decide that from now on they are be called "Chicanos."

- May 5, 1972 - The Nixon administration decides that Mexican-Americans are to be called Hispanic from now on. Other Americans of Latin American ancestry are also rounded up under this cultural name.

- May 5, 2000 - Hispanics decide that from now on they are to be called "Latinos" because Europeans from Spain and Portugal have joined the gravy train and have been declared "Hispanics" as well.

- May 5, 2025 - At 12 noon, with a majority population of Mexican-American ancestry, the state of California secedes from the United States of America and re-joins the Estados Unidos de Mexico.

- May 5, 2025 - At 12:45 PM Mexico declares its intentions to begin drilling for oil off the coast of California and begins moving the Mexican Army to round-up the Hollywood crowd.

- May 5, 2025 - At 1:00 PM California secedes from the Estados Unidos de Mexico. The Mexican Army promptly deserts and become instant residents of California. At 1:30PM, California asks to be re-admitted into the Union. The United States declines to take them back and begins building a wall along the California state line.

All in fun!

Be safe drinking and celebrating out there and Viva Mexico!