Tree Killers

The really beautiful town where I live in Pennsylvania (most of the time when I am not in DC) is called Media. It also America's first (and probably only) "fair trade town."

Media's nickname is "Tree City, USA."

The street where I live is deeply wooded, and I have recently been told by wandering bird watchers that it is actually on the migratory path for many North American birds, who fly overhead and settle and rest among the trees.

And thus my near stupefaction when one of my neighbors down the street recently cut down 31 mature trees.

Yes thirtyfuckinone, huge-assed trees, with massive trunks and 40, 50 feet tall each.

All this in order to make a large garden in front of his house. The tree killers, my other irate neighbors tell me, are both retired professors, and "master gardeners."

As if being a "master gardener," and killing 31 beautiful trees is not enough paradoxical irony, they've now begun "decorating" their newly opened space with those awful chainsaw sculptures made from trees.

Sculptures of birds.

Bastards had the real thing nesting among the beautiful trees, and now they have huge, fake ones made of dead trees.