Cloverfield

Rob: [into shaky camera] My name is Robert Hawkins. Approximately seven hours ago some *thing* attacked the city. If you found this, if you're watching this then you probably know more about it than I do.

Saw Cloverfield last night and in spite of the online hype, and in spite that I usually love this kind of movies, and in spite of the cool trailers about the new Star Trek movie coming Xmas 2008, and maybe because of the fact that I shelled out $6.50 for a large popcorn which seemed to be the size of what a small popcorn used to be in the 90s (AMC, what's up with that?), I really didn't think much of the movie.

Why?

Cloverfield is a highly derivative mix of the Blair's Witch Project camera style married to the Godzilla movies with a sprinkling of "Gadzuki meets Alien" (tunnels included).

The Godzilla and Alien influence is just too much to overcome. Not just the rambling monster destroying a city, but then the monster's offspring is up and about biting people and then the people seem to then explode and perhaps host the new offspring as it goes forth and multiplies?

The decent special effects in the film of New York being torn apart by a seldom seen monster (until almost the end) with those psych effects derived a little from M. Night Shyamalan's "Signs," unfortunately then yield a silly looking monster a little too closely related to Kermit the Frog and those weird looking spidery-looking camel crickets that seem to infect every basement in the Greater DC region.

And the logic also fails at times... the main characters seem to have little trouble killing off the nasty crawly creatures that Godzilla the Cloverfield monster drops off to bite and multiply... but when a couple of supersonic USAF jets drop off two MOABs (the world's largest and most powerful conventional bombs) onto the monster, they just cover it in a convenient cloud of dust before it comes up unharmed.

If its offspring can be killed with a bat, how come Mom survives two MOABs without even missing a step or an inch of green skin?

And the last issue that bothered me is the Hud (the actor who is the cameraman in the movie) character spends most of the time yelling: "Rob! Rob! Where are you going?"

Nowhere.