Sunday, August 16, 2015

Tentacles (A man, an axe and a doctor: A tale of pain and art)


One of the blog posts that I get the most emails about is this horror story from 2005. Here it is again:
Someone who was raised in Brooklyn shouldn’t own, and much less, try to use an axe.

What follows is a true tale of horror, of entropy and the second law of thermodynamics, of chaos and order, of the laws of the universe, of near death, of irony, of music, and ultimately of a new form of art. All of the characters are real, and if I could remember their names, I would name them.

I begin.

The back of my house has a rather wooded large area with many trees, and it also backs into an even larger wooded common area that I share with my neighbors. I am really a big fan of warm cozy fires, and during the winter I usually light one up every night.my fireplace

A while back I went around and collected a lot of wood from fallen branches and also a lot of wood from a tree that had fallen months earlier. This wood had been cut, but needed splitting, so I bought an axe to split the wood myself.

How hard could this be? After all, I remember how President Reagan, while he was in office, was so fond of being filmed splitting wood in his ranch in California. If an 80-year-old President could do it, and make it look so easy, then surely a virile 40something could do it as well.

So I went to my local hardware store and bought an axe.

Act One, Scene I

It was a day much like many other balmy December days we’ve been having this winter. There was a little chill in the air, but more like a spring day than a winter day. I had gathered quite a haul of neatly cut sections of the tree trunk, each about nine to twelve inches in diameter, and I had placed them to the side of a large tree stump, which I planned to use as the base to split the firewood. the tree stump

The ground was wet and the grass was moist, as it had been raining the previous few days, but although the radio had announced that there would be rain later, I thought that I would have a couple of hours to split all the wood before it began to rain.

I would be good exercise as well.

Gloves in hand, I placed the first piece of wood on the stump, took one or two slow –motion practice tries, just to get the motion and aim right, and then took my first mighty swing of the axe.

There are some instances on this planet, when the laws of gravity seem to take a couple of nanoseconds off. Like when one is walking down a path, and a rock, as if by magic, jumps from the ground and lands inside your shoe. How does that happen? Is it evidence of magic? Time travel? Even if one considers a viable explanation, the most common of which is that the other shoe kicks the rock into the partner shoe, it takes some extraordinary physics and flight acrobatics to imagine a rock being kicked by one shoe, flying sideways through the air as you walk on and sliding into the other shoe. I prefer to believe that the rocks jump straight up and floats into the shoe.

the axe of this taleAnyway... back to my story.

The violent action of swinging the axe to split the firewood must have caused a ripple in the time space continuum, for otherwise I cannot imagine or recreate what followed next.

For one thing, I completely missed the firewood waiting to be split and barely nicked the edge of the tree stump. But this bare touching of the tree stump must have caused a tremendous vector change in the arc of the axe swing, and to add more physics to the event, the brand new axe, (with its nice slippery handle, aided by my brand new - and even more slippery - cotton gardening gloves (I should have used leather work gloves)) slipped away from me.

And aided by the wet grass under my feet, I lost my footing and slipped towards the oncoming axe. At some point, I suspect that both the axe and I were completely airborne and approaching each other in perfect flight synchronicity.

And in some incomprehensible act of flying physics, the axe went in a perfect flight pattern back towards me and between my legs.

Act One, Scene II

The axe blade missed my family jewels – barely.

I know this because I still have balls and because the tip of the blade nicked the small of my back. But I came as close to being a eunuch as anyone in the history of mankind has come; but the blade missed.

But the top of the handle didn’t miss and it crushed my balls.

Before I describe the pain, let me tell you that I've been kicked in the balls more than once. I have been an avid student and practitioner of the martial arts since I was 13 years old, and have competed in many full contact tournaments, and have been accidentally kicked in the balls many times. I have also had my share of juvenile and drunken sailor fist fights, where someone's foot or fist has delivered a painful blow to my genitals. And it does hurt intensely!

But this axe handle crushing my privates was a new dimension in pain.

And this new pain took on a new meaning as I collapsed onto the wet, muddy ground.

It was an almost exquisite pain, with shape, form, smell and incredibly enough, fireballs of vivid color dancing to music. During this time, I had a vision of how Christ and Jimmy Hoffa truly died; in fact I learned how every fucking thing in the Universe has died, and how every living entity in this Universe and the other infinite Einsteinian numbers of Universes will die. And in all cases, their death involved or will involve an axe.

Time ceased to flow, or perhaps it simply slowed down in order to make my agony more intense, which by the way, would have been impossible, as I had already maxxed out the agony scale for mankind.

And I know this is silly, but I swear that I heard the music from Guns n Roses’ Sweet Child of Mine emanating, in perfect tune to the pain, from my brutalized gonads; especially the part where the bag pipes come in.

Thus I do not know how long I agonized on the forest floor. A wet tongue belonging to Yoda, my neighbor’s dog, whimpering as he obviously felt my pain, resuscitated me.

I opened my eyes for the first time since I fell, and looked at Yoda’s handsome face. "Yoda," I whispered between clenched teeth, "kill me." He looked at me with his intelligent eyes and licked my face again. "Please bite my neck," I begged. "Kill me now!"

Yoda twisted his head in that almost human way in which dogs do, and walked away. For a minute there I thought that the stupid beast had gone to fetch a stick to play with, as he loves to fetch sticks. Had he done this, I would have kicked him in his balls. But he just vanished from my sight and then started to bark outside my neighbor’s back door.

By now the pain had diminished to a white searing pain on a planetary scale equivalent to a thermonuclear device being exploded at the core of the Earth, so the word diminished is quite bogus in this sentence. But, I sincerely wanted to find out how much damage I had done, and since by now my pants were quite soaked from the wet ground and the mud, I needed to check to see if I was bleeding.

Act One, Scene III

So I unbuttoned my pants, lowered them in agonizing ecstasy, and reached down to feel the state of my boys.

Which is precisely the moment that my neighbor, apparently being brought to the scene by Lassie-wannabe Yoda’s barking, made her appearance, as I am feeling my bruised sacs.

my neighbor lady My neighbor is a very nice old lady who has a remarkable likeness to Grandpa Munster, and I think that she’s originally from Sweden, and she has a lovely and thick accent, and from the expression on her face, I realized that she was slightly concerned at finding a muddy man, laying on the wet ground, pants down to his ankles and fingers probing around his privates.

So I rationalized (the brain is an incredible asset) that I'd better explain, although the last fucking thing that I wanted to do at that moment was to chat with this Grandpa Munster look-a-like. But I figured that if I didn’t explain, she’d make a bat-line to her phone and report me to the vice squad.

And being the super nice lady that she is, she tried to hide her laughter, and understood, and asked me if I wanted her to call an ambulance. "Tentacles," she said (and she did say "tentacles" instead of "testicles"), "are very fragile."

"No shit Grandpa Munster,"
I felt like saying, but instead I moaned to her that it was OK, and that I’d drive myself down to the hospital.

It had begun to sprinkle, so she wished me luck and went back to her house.

And then it really began to rain; hard, cold rain.

And then the act of crawling back to my house became another exercise in agony, as I discovered that (a) I couldn’t walk because of the pain and (b) I couldn’t crawl on my knees, because of the pressure on my jewels.

So I sort of "rolled" towards my house, and then developed a sort of walking on all fours, legs quite widespread and putting most of the weight on my hands, as the rain fell on me.

So I finally make it to the house, thoroughly soaked and quite covered in mud. And (of course) the day before I had cleaned my house from top to bottom, and the thought of the irony of this alignment of misfortunes dawned on me as I muddied the floor of my pristine home.

I debated whether to change clothes or not, and decided that it would be impossible for me to physically remove my shoes, as my boys had by now begun to swell to an impressive size, and any pressure on them caused me to yelp like a newborn child. So I grabbed a towel from the laundry room, crawled to my van, put the towel on the seat, and climbed in to an internal symphony of new pains.

And I began the drive to the hospital emergency room.

Act Two, Scene I

Sometimes the lights on Democracy Boulevard align in timing so that one can go all the way from Seven Locks to Old Georgetown Road without hitting a single light.

Other times, a driver hits every god damned light on the road.

Guess which of these two cycles of light synchronicity was to be my fate on that painful day?

Yep! Stop at every light, and to make matters worse, I couldn’t really "sit down" and was actually driving while holding most of my weight on one hand pushing against the car seat in order to attempt to float me above it, all the while leaning forward, sort of the way that scary old people in Florida drive.

I eventually pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, and of course there is not one single parking spot available on the ER area, so I have to park in the lot across the street, and do my crawling on all fours routine, in the rain, across the road, which as some of you may know, is quite a busy road. However, since Yoda had failed to kill me, I was somewhat hoping that I’d get run over by a car, and mercifully have it put an end to my agony.

But no one ran me over, although several cars did slow down, but I suspect it was so that they could get a look at the idiot crawling on all fours across the road, in the rain.

But in due time, I did arrive at the entrance to the ER, and at the very last minute I almost did get run over by an ambulance, bringing in someone with a medical emergency.

And so I finally enter the ER, muddy, wet, cold and still in spectacular pain.

Act Two, Scene II

I imagine that most ER personnel have seen just about everything that humankind has to offer in terms of shock, but by the alarmed expression on the male nurse at the check-in station, it was clear that he was somewhat concerned by my appearance and by my manner of movement on all fours; I also noticed that the security guard was also somewhat alarmed (and armed).

He asked me what the problem was, and as I explained what happened, both this Gaylord Focker wannabe and the guard, who had drifted within earshot, actually had the gall to burst out laughing.

And I made a silent promise to myself that in a few weeks, if I survived this ordeal, I would hunt Nurse Focker-wannabe and kick him in the nuts.

So after the whole delay of data input and insurance verification, Nurse Focker tells me to have a seat, and wait, as the doctors (plural) are all attending the patient who had just come in via the ambulance.

"What’s his problem?" I asked, not out of concern, but thinking that there are precious few emergencies in the world that could take precedence over my distress.

And Nurse Focker explains that the patient is a 96-year-old-man who’s having a heart attack.

And I’m really close to start debating that at 96, he’s had a good life, and he's probably caused his own heart attack because of Viagra, so let this geezer go and assign me a doctor, preferably well armed with a needle full of painkiller. But I hold my tongue, and wait in my own private water puddle.

Several ice ages later, Nurse Focker says that I am to be seen, and asks me if I have a preference for a doctor. In retrospect, I think that he was asking me if I wanted a male or female doctor, but by now my social graces had completely vanished, and I told him that I’d like Dr. Kavorkian. He didn’t laugh.

I am then taken to the back, and told to undress, put one of those silly robes that show your ass, and sit on the bed and wait for the doctor. Somehow I managed to undress on my own, and laid on the bed, with my legs bent and wide open, much like a woman waiting for her gynecologist.

A little while later, the curtains open and the doctor comes in: A female doctor, of course, probably picked by Nurse Focker to make my life more miserable.

And not just any female doctor, but probably the only female doctor who had also been a body extra in Baywatch. And to my utter amazement, in the middle of this intense agony, my sick male brain still finds time to align a couple of thought patterns that whisper inside my head: "WOW, she’s hot!" before resuming sending new and novel pain patterns to my groin area.

"What have we got here?" she asks using the imperial "we" that annoying doctors like to use.

"We, doc," says I, devoid of any social skills by this point, "have a serious fucking case of smashed balls, and an even more serious need for some potent pain killer." And I begin explaining what happened.

And just like Nurse Focker and the rent-a-cop a few minutes earlier, Dr. Carmen Electra, Medicine Woman bursts out laughing while she’s probing and feeling down there, hands encased in latex gloves.

Laughter induced watery-eyes and all, she then tells me that it looks like there’s no internal injuries, but that she’ll order a scan to double check, and that I need to ice down my groin area in order to reduce the swelling. "You’ll be OK in a few days."

Pheeew!

I thank her, and ask about a shot for the pain. To my astonishment she says that just a couple of Tylenols should do the trick. "Doc," I plead, "I am in really in some aggravating bad pain here."

"Don’t be such a baby," she responds, "You should try childbirth if you want to know what real pain is."

She’s lucky she’s a woman; otherwise I definitely would have kicked her in the balls.

Act Two, Scene III

A few days later, and things appear to be back to normal; I’ve been telling people that I have a back pain, and thus the strained walk.

And at some point, it dawns on me that the whole sequence of events, with the improbable occurrences, the diverse set of characters, and the Three Stoogian physicality of the act, is a new kind of art; a new kind of performance art that is, where really spectacular true events of common daily life assume astronomic personal presence and thus cross the border into a personal artistic quality, the like of which will never be repeated by any other soul on this planet.

So my performance piece is over: I call it Tentacles (not Testicles).

Saturday, August 15, 2015

The 7th Annual Expressions Portrait Competition and Exhibit Call for Art

Submission Deadline: 09/08/2015
 
Finalists in the competition will exhibit at ArtSpace Herndon in the Expressions exhibit, October 6 to November 1, 2015.  Competition judge Judith Peck will announce winners of the competition during the Awards Reception on Saturday, October 10, 2015, 7 p.m. $800 to be given out in prizes and honorable mentions at the judge’s discretion. 
 
The entry deadline is Tuesday September 8, 2015 at 2 p.m. Up to 25 finalists will be selected to exhibit their work at ArtSpace Herndon by Ms. Peck. The entry fee is $25 (non-refundable) for up to 2 entries.
 
Eligibility: Artists 18 years or older residing in Maryland, Virginia, the District of Columbia, West Virginia, and Delaware. Preference will be given to works adhering to the traditional definition of portraiture: “a painting, sculpture, or other artistic artistic representation of a person, in which the face and its expression is predominant. The intent is to display the likeness, personality, and even the mood of the person.” (taken from Wikipedia, March 2015).

Contact Name: Brenda Page
Contact Email: public_relations@artspaceherndon.com
Website: artspaceherndon.com/calls-for-art/

Friday, August 14, 2015

Athenaeum Invitational

The Athenaeum Invitational: Prize Awards & Opening Reception Sunday, September 13, 4 – 6 pm

$2500 in Cash Prizes Provided by TTR | Sotheby’s International Realty

Exhibit: Thursday, September 10 – Sunday October 25
Inspired by Cole Porter’s classic, ‘Don’t Fence Me In,’ over thirty local artists created works that were accepted into the first Athenaeum Invitational. Eight artists who have previously exhibited in the Athenaeum Gallery were invited to create a work for the show, one of which will be selected for a $1500 prize. One of the regional artists who responded to the open call component of the competition will be awarded a $1000 prize.

Invited artists and open call submissions were selected by Athenaeum Gallery Director, Twig Murray. Director and Curator of the American University Museum at the Katzen Arts Center, Jack Rasmussen, will determine the prize winners. The prizes will be announced and Mr. Rasmussen will briefly discuss his judgement at the reception on Sunday, September 13 from 4 to 6.

The eight invited artists are:
Timothy J. Horjus
Jeff Huntington
Laurel Lukaszewski
Max MacKenzie
Ryan McCoy
Beverly Ress
Judy Southerland
Kazaan Viveiros

Artists selected from the open call are:
Nessie Alexander-Barnes
Daniel Brown
Laurence Chandler
Kathleen Cooper
Suzanne Firstenberg
Pat Goslee
Songmi Heart
Courtney Hengerer
Laurel Hausler
Michal Hunter
Lee Jaworek
Kay Layne
Linda Lowery
Carol Lukitch
Anne Marchand
Mike McConnell
Cindy Mehr
Caroline Minchew
Rebecca Moseman
Carol, Reed
Mary Ryder
Lynn Schmidt
AlexTolstoy
Amy Varner

Details of the call for entry can be viewed
here.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

How to sign artwork

One of the most curious things that I have puzzled about in the many decades of making art, presenting art, selling art and dealing with both artists and art collectors (as well as art dealers) is how often artists anguish over a signature.

There are gazillions of ways to screw up a work of art with a signature - the most common one is where a work of art is marred by a giant signature in glow-in-the-dark silver color marker or some hideous color like that.

Even a tiny and elegant signature can distract from a work of art if placed in the wrong area of the work. Imagine an elegant abstract, such as a Mondrian, with a signature in the middle of one of the color geometric shapes.

And, the real truth is that if you care at all about art as a commodity, then I will tell you that most collectors, especially the savvy ones, will always ask about the signature, if one is not apparent at first inspection. You can give them all the certificates of authenticity on the planet, but they want that siggie somewhere.
"A Picasso with a signature may be worth twice as much as one without a signature," said Mark Rosen, former head of the print department at Sotheby's, which sells approximately thousands of prints per year with prices ranging from a few hundred dollars to over $100,000. "Chagall did a series of prints called 'Daphne and Chloe' and those that are signed are worth 10 times as much as those that are unsigned. Otherwise, they are the same prints."

By now you're itching to yell at me: "Lenster! What is this? Damn if you and damn if you don't?"

Nope - it's just damn if you don't; just do it in the proper place(s).

Some easy to remember DO NOT Rules when signing artwork
  • Never sign with a gigantic signature; a normal signature (or even smaller than normal) will do fine.
  • Never sign anywhere on the surface where it interferes with the composition.
  • Never sign with that glows, shimmers, is metallic or will fade.
  • No need to put the little "c" inside the circle "copyright" sign by your signature. You already own the copyright no matter what!
  • If you sign on the back (verso in Sothebyse), make sure that it doesn't bleed through!
  • Don't sign using inks that will fade in time, or worse, separate, such as "Sharpies" do after a few years, when they acquire a yellow border around the faded black ink.
You want to know where to sign, right?

Cough, cough...

By the way... I'm meandering all about signatures on two dimensional work; you sculptors are all on your own, as long as you don't pull a Michelangelo on the Pieta stunt.

Where to sign two-dimensional work

1. On the back (make sure that it doesn't go through and can be seen from the front); in fact, the more info that you can put on the back to help art historians of the future, the better.

2. On the lower margin of the piece (usually the right margin, but that's up to you).

3. Photographs can either be signed (and numbered in a small edition, cough, cough) on the verso (there's a million "special" photo-signing pens for all you photo geeks; they "write" on photo paper and dry in nanoseconds and don't smear, etc.) Or you can sign them if you leave a white border all around the printed photo. Even signing the mat in the lower margin in pencil was in vogue in the last century and is OK.

If you don't believe me about the power of a signature, then just go online and research the difference in price between a signed Picasso (most of them) and the two dozen or so fully validated, authenticated and documented unsigned Picassos (the ones that he gave to one of his ex-wifes that he hated).

That will learn y'all a lesson about signatures and art, Jethro...

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Good news for women artists

Nasher Sculpture Center announces the formation of a new fund for the acquisition of work by women artists: the Kaleta A. Doolin Acquisitions Fund for Women Artists. Established with the generous seed gift from the foundation named for author, artist, and arts patron Kaleta A. Doolin, the fund will provide an initial $750,000 toward the purchasing of work by women artists, helping substantially grow both the Nasher Sculpture Center’s collection of work by women artists and, with a keen focus on living artists, its contemporary art holdings.
Details here.

Monday, August 10, 2015

Sunday, August 09, 2015

Guerrilla Framing Technique number one

Me: Custom framing is expensive!

You: Everybody knows that!

The average price for custom framing around the DMV is brutal - and sometimes complicated (or made complicated by frustrated designers posing as framers or artists who have seen too many Rococo framing in museums.

Unless you're Frida Kahlo, generally speaking, the job of a frame for a work of visual art is first and foremost to protect the art.

Period.

And in the 21st century, and most of the 20th, the simpler the better; the less noticeable the frame, the more that the art is noticed.

If you have plenty of shekels, then a good framer will do a great job.

For the vast majority of artists, a frame should not cost as much as repairing your transmission.

You: Can you get to the guerrilla technique part already?

Most artwork is done on geometric substrates; even if you cut paper or stretch your own canvas, most of the times it is either a square or a rectangle; ovals went out ages ago; in fact they were never really in.

In the USA, these art substrates come in standard sizes that apply not only to the substrates (paper, canvas, board, wood, etc.), but also to mats, frames, and glass.

Thus, if you work on a standard size substrate to start with, you're almost home, because then you can eliminate the middle man to getting your work on a wall: the custom framer.

An 8x10 substrate will fit into an 11x14 pre-cut mat and into an 11x14 pre-cut frame; and 11x14 substrate will fit into a 16x20, a 16x20 into a 20x24 and so on.

Around the DMV, both Ikea and AC Moore's have ridiculously affordable prices for acceptable, minimalist frames. With AC Moore's if you sign up for sales alerts, you'll be bombarded with coupons (the best one is their 25% off for your purchase - including sales items; otherwise you get their 55% off regular price coupon emailed to you every 30 seconds).  Practically every frame at Ikea is a minimalist frame, but be careful because many of them are European size standards, which are different from US; however, Ikea frames generally come with acid-buffered mats, with is a nice "bennie" to have.

By the way, if you need a lot of frames in the same size - let's say two dozen frames, then I suggest that you find the ready made frame that you like and that will accommodate tour work (this usually works for photographers), turn it over and see whoo makes the frame and then contact the manufacturer (if it's in the USA) and see if they will sell you the frames directly. There's usually a minimum order to "qualify" for this option, and thus situations may vary according to your needs.

If you want to do artwork in other than standard sizes, then more power to you, and framing just got a little pricier, but there's also a technique.

First find a ready made frame that is bigger than your odd shaped artwork and visualize the artwork inside the frame. If the proportions are agreeable to you -- let's say you have a rectangular work which can be matted with both sides and top the same and bottom "heavy" - that is perfectly acceptable.

Once you have the frame, go to a framer and have them cut you a mat that has the outside dimensions of your frame and have them cut a window that fits your work. Now you are only paying them to cut a custom mat, rather than paying them to do that as well as creating a custom frame and glass from scratch. It should reduce your costs by about 80%.

Then just bring your matted work home, pop it into the frame and as the Brits say: "Bob's your uncle."

Plenty more techniques later...

Saturday, August 08, 2015

A Celebration of Glass

A Celebration of Glass 

September 4–27 at the Glen Echo Park Popcorn Gallery Artists Reception Friday, September 4, 6:00–9:00 p.m. 

Join the Art Glass Center artists for A Celebration of Glass in the Glen Echo Park
Popcorn Gallery this September. Curated by Mary Wactlar, Sherry Selevan, and Virginia Hughes, the show includes more than 90 works that celebrate the art of glass in sculpture, wall hangings, vessels and jewelry. 

Twenty-two Art Glass Center artists have created pieces that explore the endless possibilities of the medium. The works embrace rich surface textures as well as deeply tonal glass, while the artists’ visions range from graceful organic visions and exciting geometrics to images of nature. 

The Art Glass Center is a school, resource center and gallery for kiln-formed glass serving the Washington metropolitan area for more than 30 years. The Popcorn gallery is open Saturdays and Sundays, noon–6 p.m. 

7300 MacArthur Boulevard
Glen Echo, MD 20812
301.634.2273 
www.artglasscenteratglenecho.org 
info@artglasscenteratglenecho.org

Friday, August 07, 2015

Studio Available October 2015

Deadline: Sept. 15, 2015

Studio Available October 2015

AVAILABLE STUDIO INFORMATION 

Studio is 215 sq. feet.
  • Rent is $405 per month, inclusive of all utilities.
  • Artists are required to be in the space during retail hours of Wed. - Sat., 12-6pm and during the monthly Bethesda Art Walk.
  • Artist has 24/7 access to Studio B and their personal studio space.
  • Artist may sell artwork and there is no commission taken on artist sales.

SELECTION
Members of the Bethesda Arts and Entertainment District and arts professionals will review the applications and select the Studio B artist. If necessary, an interview may be requested. Applicants will be notified about whether their applications have been selected. Bethesda Urban Partnership will perform credit and criminal background checks and execute leases with the tenants. Once maximum occupancy is reached, applicants will be placed on a waiting list until a studio becomes available.
 

TO APPLY

Complete this application and submit the following:
  • Curriculum Vitae (CV)
  • Artwork Samples
  • Proof of Income
  • Proof of Identity
  • $30 fee per applicant for credit and criminal background checks

QUESTIONS? Please email artist@bethesda.org.

Wednesday, August 05, 2015

Request for Proposals

Request for Proposals: IMPACT at GREEN SPRING STATION

Application Deadline: Saturday, August 15, 2015

Are you an artist that enjoys working with unusual materials? Then this opportunity might be for you!
 
MAP, in partnership with Green Spring Station, is seeking an artist or artist team to create an original temporary indoor installation comprised of items donated by Green Spring Station merchants. Items may include: resistance bands/dumbbells, bras, nighties, pjs, hair products, blow-dryer, dresses, tennis racquets and balls, boxed stationery, journals, guest books, calendars, sample event stationery, children’s books, wooden toys, and candy. The resulting sculpture does not need to incorporate all materials.

The selected artist/artist team will receive a $1,000 stipend to cover the cost of additional materials and labor. Installation is scheduled to take place between October 1 and November 13, 2015.

The full RFP can be downloaded here.
This call is open to all Maryland-based artists and is free to apply.

Tuesday, August 04, 2015

High line

Official US Navy photo of me being highlined from USS Thorn to USS John King somewhere in the Med in the early 1980s. My boss, then Commodore Jeremy Boorda (DESRON 22) used to love to highline sailors, and in this instance I was delivering a FitRep to the CO of USS John King (as well as a box of donuts and some Intel reports) - if you zoom in you can see my bearded face and a cheap stogie between my lips... cough, cough...

Monday, August 03, 2015

Enigmas of Cuban Spanish

Anthony T. Rivas starts his entertaining "Enigmas of Cuban Spanish" by noting that "Non-Cuban Spanish speakers have occasional trouble understanding fast Cuban speech. While less educated Cuban speakers can be difficult to understand, as with speakers of other dialects of Spanish, better educated speakers of Cuban Spanish can also exhibit speech sounds typical of "careless" or relaxed speech." 

Ahhh... my own experience, especially around the DMV (where most "native" Spanish speakers are from Central America, and in my neighborhood from Argentina), is more like a perplexed look... this chart (from his research) exemplifies the nuances, even within Cuba, of Cuban Spanish.

Old Oriente ProvinceRest of CubaEnglish Meaning
cutara chancletas slippers
papaya fruta bomba papaya
balance* sillón rocking chair
balde cubo bucket
rallado, rasco-rasco (Matanzas) granizado (Bayamo and Santiago)ice cone
macholechónsuckling pig
pluma, llave** faucet tap
túnico* vestido dress
hallaca tamal tamale
guineo plátano (fruta) banana
fana fanoso good-for-nothing/cheapskate
tienda *** bodega grocery store
* Also used in Camagüey Province
** "Pluma" and "llave" coexist in Camagüey Province.
*** In Havana, "tienda" with no modifier denotes a clothing store.

Sunday, August 02, 2015

Another tree falls

Elvira Campello de Quevedo (Tia Cuca)
My gentle and kind aunt, (my father's sister) Tia Cuca, passed away in her sleep in Miami this morning, and yet another tree falls in the silent forest of the bitter exile of the Cuban Diaspora. 

She was born in the countryside, near the city of Guantanamo, in the Oriente province of Eastern Cuba, the fifth daughter (of six) of Galician immigrants to Cuba.

In the 1960s, Cuca and her family escaped Cuba (via Spain) and settled in Brooklyn, in the six apartment brownstone owned by her sister, my aunt Nica.

When I was a kid in Brooklyn, Tia Cuca lived in the apartment above ours in that house, and no matter when I'd pop into her apartment, she'd always sit me down at the table and would start feeding me - and she was one of the best cooks ever! There's no cook on this Universe who ever made a better black bean soup!


My Campello aunts in the 1950s - Tia Cuca is the second from the left in the top row
My Campello aunts in the 1950s - Tia Cuca is the second from the left in the top row.
I never saw her angry, and she had the most contagious laugh on the planet! Don't get me wrong, Tia Cuca was also tough as nails, but her toughness came in a brilliant and pliable form - she would bend, but never break, as the saying goes.

We will miss you, Tia.

Saturday, August 01, 2015

Why?

Now in its ninth year, the $50,000 Black Swan Prize has attracted a record 375 entries...
 Are you serious? Only 375 entries and that's a record for this Aussie prize? Details here... 

Why am I yapping about an Aussie prize? Because I am always dumbfounded by the low number of entries to most visual art prizes and opportunities - especially the "free" ones, such as the DC Arts Commission's various grants and buying calls...

Friday, July 31, 2015

Artists' Websites: Anne Cherubim

Anne Cherubim is an abstract contemporary landscape painter. She works predominantly in acrylic. Her art is rooted in real life images and textures, with a modern abstraction, often in a limited colour palette.
Her art is a reflection of contemporary art as portrayed by someone who is a product of a myriad of cultures: a Canadian girl, born of Sri Lankan parents, now residing in the US. 

This unique 'lense' through which she sees the world informs her work, undeniably. ‘Tolerance’ is the word we use to talk about being open to, and welcoming of, one another.  

Anne believes ‘embrace’ is a much better word for talking about cultures, and the ways in which we can coexist. Art and music transcend language - among other barriers- and create commonalities, harmony. They are universals that can be appreciated no matter where you come from, or what language you speak. 

This is the type of experience Cherubim hopes that her art allows for.
Though she has been an artist for many years, her professional pursuit of it began more recently.  
Anne has exhibited her work locally around the DMV and internationally. She currently resides with her husband and children in the USA, and is a Resident Artist at Artists & Makers Studios in Rockville, MD and later this year at the Affordable Art Fair in New York City.

Her work can be seen at: www.cherubim-arts.com

Thursday, July 30, 2015

The touch of darkness

Every once in a while, the possible terrifying touch of evil passes by, leaving behind a wake of fear and also (in this case) relief that it just went by.

A few days ago a man approached our five year-old-son while he was playing in our front yard.

My wife had just gotten home about five minutes before, and she was unpacking grocery bags inside while our son was playing soccer on the front lawn.

A man approached in a dark gray 4-door sedan on the opposite side of the street, closest to where my son was playing. He rolled down his window, called my son over and told him about "a boy who lived down the street and who had a tiger in his house" and asked if my son knew him.

My son's inner alarms went off and he ran inside and told my wife, and when she came out, the car was gone.


We called the police and provided the following description based on what my son could see from the yard into the man's car: age 50s, black straight short hair, white skin, brown eyes, and fat (this is a 5yr old's description!).

My son  also mentioned that the license plate had an American flag on it, and then pointed to one of the Maryland plates with the American flag in our neighborhood as an example.

We shared the information with our neighbors via our listserv, and discovered that just down our street, a couple who has a three year old son, has a giant stuffed animal tiger in the boy's play room; a tiger that could easily been seen by someone walking around their house and looking into their windows. 


Disturbing beyond belief. 
 

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

2015 Trawick Prize Finalists

The Bethesda Arts & Entertainment District and the Bethesda Urban Partnership will showcase the work of The Trawick Prize: Bethesda Contemporary Art Awards eight finalists in a group exhibition. The exhibit will be on display September 2 – 26, 2015, at Gallery B, located at 7700 Wisconsin Avenue, Suite E.

2015 Trawick Prize Finalists

 
Selin Balci, Annapolis, MD
Lynn Cazabon, Baltimore, MD
Catherine Day, McLean, VA
Jason Hughes, Baltimore, MD
Timothy Makepeace, Washington, D.C.
Sebastian Martorana, Baltimore, MD
Jonathan Monaghan, Washington, D.C.
Nara Park, Washington, D.C.

The award winners will be announced on Wednesday, September 2, 2015. The first place winner will be awarded $10,000; second place will be honored with $2,000 and third place will be awarded $1,000. A “young” artist whose birth date is after April 7, 1985 may also be awarded $1,000.

The public opening reception will be held Friday, September 11 from 6-9pm in conjunction with the Bethesda Art Walk. Gallery hours for the duration of the exhibit are Wednesday through Saturday, 12 – 6pm.
 
The 2015 Trawick Prize jury includes Stefanie Fedor, Executive Director, Arlington Arts Center; John Ruppert, sculptor, Professor and former Chair of the University of Maryland’s Department of Art and Richard Waller, Executive Director of University Museums for the University of Richmond.
 
The Trawick Prize was established in 2003 by Carol Trawick, a longtime community activist in downtown Bethesda. She is the past Chair of both the Bethesda Arts & Entertainment District and Bethesda Urban Partnership, and also the Founder of the Bethesda Painting Awards. In 2007, Ms. Trawick founded the Jim and Carol Trawick Foundation to assist health and human services and arts non-profits in Montgomery County.

The Trawick Prize is one of the first regional competitions and largest prizes to annually honor visual artists. To date, The Trawick Prize has awarded $175,000 in prize monies and has exhibited the work of more than 100 regional artists. Previous Best in Show recipients include Richard Clever, 2003; David Page, 2004; Jiha Moon, 2005; James Rieck, 2006; Jo Smail, 2007; Maggie Michael, 2008; Rene Trevino, 2009; Sara Pomerance, 2010; Mia Feuer, 2011; Lillian Bayley Hoover, 2012; Gary Kachadourian, 2013 and Neil Feather, 2014. 
For more information, please visit www.bethesda.org or call 301-215-6660.

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Elise Campello nominated for best actress!

Congrats to my Klingon daughter Elise L Tor-Cam, who just got nominated for "Best Actress" in a South Sound (Tacoma, WA area) theatrical performance during the 2014/15 season!
Details here.

Monday, July 27, 2015

Naomi Wolf on Vocal Fry

Young women, give up the vocal fry and reclaim your strong female voice...
   --- 

Read it here.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Bader Fund

The Franz and Virginia Bader Fund invites grant applications from visual artists who are aged 40 years and over and who live within 150 miles of Washington, DC. Artists working in performance, video, and film are not eligible for Bader Fund grants.

To download an application form, visit the Bader Fund's website.

In 2014, the Bader Fund awarded eight grants totaling $120,000.

Details: 202-288-4608 OR http://tinyurl.com/oaejhvb OR grants@baderfund.org

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Your artwork on a billboard

Embracing Our Differences is accepting submissions for its 13th annual outdoor juried art exhibit celebrating diversity and inclusion to be displayed spring 2016 in Sarasota, FL USA.

42 artists will be selected. National and international submissions accepted.

Final selections will be made by a 3-judge panel. $3,000 (US) in awards. There is no submission fee nor limit on the number of entries. Details: 941-404-5710 OR http://embracingourdifferences.org OR Info@EmbracingOurDifferences.org

Friday, July 24, 2015

The two Laurens and vocal fry

A while back I accidentally discovered the curious case of vocal fry, a unique vocal affectation which is common to most American (and apparently only American) women.
 
As I noted, it has affected my listening habits, especially radio listening, as I now eagerly await the throaty sentence ending staccato of the affectation.
 
This morning, WAMU's Lauren Ober (the very talented reporter for Metro Connection) was in full swing (in a really interesting report on swimming and DC African-American kids) with what I've now catalogued as partial vocal fry. That is when about a third of the sentences are delivered in a "normal" voice and the rest have the characteristic feline vocal fry ending.
 
Then Lauren Landau came on with an Art Beat report (I wish that they'd just let Ms. Landau talk and get rid of the annoying background 1960s beatnik-type music). Landau has a very elegant, soothing voice, but even she dives into vocal fry land once in a while - maybe in a third of her sentences - which is also interesting in that some women are 100% vocal fried, while others, such as Ms. Landau, seem to be able to float in and out of it.

"Paint the Town" Mural Project

"Paint the Town" Mural Project
Deadline: July 31, 2015

Receive $15,000 to transform the Capital Crescent Trail Retaining Wall!
 
"Paint the Town" is an initiative to promote more public art murals in downtown Bethesda. The first public art mural project organized by the Bethesda Arts & Entertainment District is the Capital Crescent Trail Retaining Wall located on Arlington Road, by Bradley Boulevard and across from the Safeway grocery store.

The Capital Crescent Trail Retaining Wall is more than 400 feet in length, and artists are encouraged to focus their proposed mural on the 150-200 feet in the middle of the wall. The height of the wall is approximately 10 feet in height.

$15,000 will be provided to the artist to pay for supplies and the artist's time. The deadline to apply is Friday, July 31, 2015. Interested artists should visit www.bethesda.org for more information and the application for consideration. The project must be completed by Oct. 15, 2015.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

3rd Annual Artist Material Market

SELL, BUY AND TRADE ART SUPPLIES AND MATERIALS AT
THE 3ND ANNUAL ARTIST MATERIALS MARKET

Torpedo Factory Art Center
Saturday, August 22, 10 am – 3 pm

WHAT
Artists from the greater metropolitan area are invited to sell and swap their gently used art supplies, tools, materials and ephemera for sale or trade during the 3nd Annual Artist Materials Markets.
 
In addition to helping to purge extra items, it’s an opportunity to find great bargains on new supplies and network with other artists from the region.
 
 
WHEN
Saturday, August 22
Public sale: 10 am – 3 pm
Vendor hours: 8 am – 4 pm
 
 
WHERE
Torpedo Factory Art Center
105 N. Union St; Alexandria, VA 22314
 
 
WHO
The event is organized by the Torpedo Factory Artists’ Association, The Art League and the Torpedo Factory Art Center.
 
 
HOW
There are approximately 20 tables available for purchase at $25. Visual artists from all media are encourage to participate. All spaces must be reserved in advance and are available on a first-come, first-served basis. Reservation deadline is Wednesday, August 19 at 5 pm.
 

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Opportunity for Artists

IMPLICIT BIAS: Seeing the Other - Seeing Our Self
 
This exhibition will be presented by Joan Hisaoka Healing Arts Gallery and Busboys and Poets. It is scheduled to open Friday, September 18 and run through Saturday, December 5, 2015.

Deadline for Applicants is: Saturday, August 20, 2015

Description of the exhibition is as follows:
 
IMPLICIT BIAS - Seeing the Other: Seeing Our Self is an exhibition that seeks to explore the unconscious racial bias that affects our decisions, choices, friends and beliefs about others. The growing body of social science research suggests that each of us harbors unconscious beliefs and values about race (as well as gender, age, etc.) that are often at odds with our conscious beliefs about our values.  At the heart of discrimination lie powerful unacknowledged biases about the Other, which affect our decisions and choices, and all too often have adverse affects on the lives of others.
 
Given recent news events in Charleston, Ferguson, Baltimore, New York and several places across America today, how do we find solutions?  One suggestion is to begin with ourselves and look at our own bias. With this emotionally charged subject matter, we want work that squarely addresses the issues of racial disparity in our country, as well as work that helps us visualize what an equitable future might look like. We're looking for work that addresses the need for greater self-awareness about our own biases, beliefs and consequent actions. The work does not need to solely imply an introspective view of Bias, but can extend to more prevalent matters, such as injustice in all its forms: Police, judicial, education, voting rights and urban planning for example.
 
We are living in important and dangerous times, where racial bias has stepped into a place that can no longer be ignored by the powers that be. IMPLICIT BIAS - Seeing the Other: Seeing Our Self is an exhibit that wants to reflect these matters with honesty, integrity and an urgency these times deserve.
 
"Maybe, we now realize the way racial bias can infect us, even when we don't realize it.
So we are guarding against, not just racial slurs, but we are also guarding against the
subtle impulse to call Johnny back for a job interview, but not Jamal."
 
-President Barack Obama's Charleston eulogy at the funeral of the Rev. Clementa Pinckney
 
 If you are interested in participating in this powerful show, please click HERE for further details and submissions.

There will be a $5 submission fee for this Exhibition.

Thank you and we look forward to reviewing your work.

Spencer Dormitzer
Gallery Director

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Art Scam Alert!

Beware of this cockroach:
From: fowwler flint - fowwlerflint2@hotmail.com

Good day,
I am Fowler Flint,A realtor of international estate management,I like to help my client beautify his new purchase home with your art and wish i can get a beautiful one from you ,Can you please email your website or send me an attachment of available artwork with pricing and details and you may please copy me a response to my private email :fowwlerflint2@hotmail.com
Thanks
FOWLER