Chris Shott in the current issue of the WCP on Blake Gopnik:

MUSEFUL CRITIQUE

For all his ranting about "bad" art projects in the District this past year, Washington Post critic Blake Gopnik hasn’t actually done much to stop them. In fact, the Oxford University–educated art historian has done just the opposite.

To wit: Last spring, Gopnik ripped the D.C. Commission on the Arts and Humanities’ "exciting public art project," PandaMania. In fact, he likened the task of painting blank panda statues to filling in a coloring book. "It would take a really skilled contemporary artist to turn a coloring book into something worth an art lover’s time," Gopnik wrote in a May 30 Post critique. "There probably aren’t more than a half-dozen artists in this city who could do it."

Oh, but Bethesda, Md., painter Marsha Stein thought she could find a few. So she formally challenged Gopnik to hand-pick a team of artists to compete against hers. Each team would paint a blank two-foot cube, with the public voting on the best one.

Gopnik politely declined the challenge. But that didn’t stop Stein: Her project has since evolved into a multiteam competition—albeit sans cubes—that D.C. filmmaker Nigel Parkinson is shooting for a documentary. Or maybe a reality-TV show.

"He just pushes people’s buttons," Stein says of Gopnik. "He does my job for me. He couldn’t have fueled this competition any better than by writing that article."

More recently, Gopnik issued a scathing critique of Artomatic 2004, the exhibition of works by some 600 area artists now showing in the former Capital Children’s Museum. In a Nov. 11 Post piece, he called the show "the second-worst display of art I’ve ever seen. The only one to beat it out, by the thinnest of split hairs, was the 2002 Artomatic, which was worse only by virtue of being even bigger and in an even more atrocious space."

"Artomatic isn’t only good for nothing," Gopnik concluded. "It’s bad for art that matters."

Again, artists responded. For starters, there’s The Official Artomatic 2004 Boo Blake Wall, an installation papered with angry letters from Artomatic exhibitors and dotted with Travis Miller– designed stickers that read: "Blake isn’t only good for nothing. He’s bad for art that matters." And sculptor Mark Jenkins has posted a phony news story reporting Gopnik’s kidnapping by "human figures made of packaging tape."

The wall is also splashed with red paint, some of which drips down into a plastic bag taped to the ground. "Somebody said it looks like bullet holes and blood," notes Artomatic executive-committee member Jim Tretick.

A less ominous homage to Gopnik appears at Artomatic’s Overlook Bar: A case of warm beer wrapped in white paper and labeled "One vintage case of Icehouse from Artomatic 2002: The worst beer from the worst show."

"That case of beer has been sitting in my basement for two years," says Tretick. "We were saving it for a special occasion."

Right beside the beer is a brand-new Clue game wrapped in a plastic bag for Gopnik. And the artists aren’t done yet. McLean, Va.–based graphic designer Jesse Thomas is now putting the finishes touches on a new collage inspired by Gopnik.

The tributes to Gopnik come as news to the critic. "I didn’t know about any of the Artomatic responses," he writes via e-mail. Gopnik’s own response? Something in Latin about judges and matters of taste: "De gustibus non...I guess."

Article copyright Washington City Paper.