Showing posts sorted by date for query elise. Sort by relevance Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by date for query elise. Sort by relevance Show all posts

Friday, October 06, 2023

Vanessa and Elise

My two beautiful daughters in 1989 - it was clearly hair day!

Vanessa Campello and Elise Campello


Friday, September 01, 2023

Leanne Hickman at Moses Lake Museum & Art Center

Sometimes, often more common than we realize, randomness introduces interesting paths in Einstein's many multiverses.

The path in this universe started by me coming to visit my daughter Elise and her family in Gig Harbor, Washington... and spend some time with her and her husband and my gorgeous grandkids.

For this visit we decided to go exploring the other side of Washington state and ended up with three days in Moses Lake, about four hours east of the green side of Washington and crossing the mountain pass into what then becomes the desert side of the state, where the mighty Columbia River rolls on.

As most of you know by now, I went to art school at the University of Washington, on the other side of the state, and in a city (Seattle) galaxies away from Moses Lake.

And in Moses Lake we explored around, and ended up in the rather elegant Moses Lake Museum and Art Center, where the show on display was "Leanne Hickman and John Hickman: Feathers vs. Charcoal" showing through September 1, 2023.

Leanne Hickman and John Hickman - Feathers vs. Charcoal

As I entered the spaces, a very friendly and smiley receptionist welcomed us - already a positive change from the usual.

I entered the ground floor gallery... and saw this:


Paintings on feathers... mmm. Immediately my antennas went up in snobbish art alarm. Art criticism brings a lot of subjectivity to it, and art critics who claim to be objective are rotten liars.

And thus, initially I was prepared to sigh and dislike this exhibition... but then two things happened: first I recalled my experience decades ago with the Quilts of Gee's Bend; and second, I recalled my anger when the Hirshhorn Museum director told me - also decades ago that the "Hirshhorn did not collect glass."

In the first, prejudice against the art substrate (quilt) and in the second, the lesson learned that it is the art that matters, not the substrate (glass... or feathers). 

Remember that I even gave this issue a name: The Quilts of Gee's Bend Syndrome.

And when I walked in to see the exhibition, my eyes and mind re-tuned by those memories, I was superbly impressed by the gorgeous paintings by Leanne Hickman... on feathers.

Feather painting by Leanne Hickman at Moses Lake Museum
Feather painting by Leanne Hickman at Moses Lake Museum

Each one of these intimate works delivers a well-packed punch of color, composition, and well-developed painting skills - they are small worlds depicting limitless, open scenes - most of them with a western theme, but all really nicely composed and delivered.

From a little online research we discover that:

She is a local resident of Moses Lake and “true farm girl” raising horses and peacocks. These beautiful species come together in her inspired acrylic works where she physically paints on peacock feathers. "Inspiration, perseverance and a strong sense of God's directions, are my mainstay and motivation as I pursue my dreams."

The works were a steal: matted and framed and under a hundred dollars! They were all framed like this:

 

My one constructive criticism to Ms. Hickman would be for her to frame all the works in white conservation mats, so as to have the intelligent use of color not be influenced by a colored mat.

In summary, this was a wonderful, elegant and superbly well-curated show which not only impressed this big city art critic, but also re-taught him a lesson about art, good art.

Tuesday, October 04, 2022

Rapture in a Dark Church

Tacoma Little Theatre's 'Off The Shelf' Presents a Reading of AMONG MANY WORLDS and my daughter Elise Campello is in it!

RAPTURE IN A DARK CHURCH

Book by Deanna Martinez - Music by Daniel J. F. Wolfert - Lyrics by Daniel J. R. Wolfert and Deanna Martine

Featuring: Arron Rorick Clark, Andreya Pro, Elise Campello, Richard Cubi Diaz, Chandler Thomas, Ariona Thompson & Keoni Dilay

Directed by Deanna Martinez

When Tabitha invites Amy to her youth group's overnight lock-in, skeptical Amy takes a chance on it. Instead of the clean, Christian fun she expected, Amy is met with an overzealous youth group leader and an adrenaline fueled game where she has the honor of playing the antichrist herself. Over one night and a groovy score with retro, Christian rock inspirations, Amy and the youth group will question what exactly being a good Christian kid means.

Monday, November 29, 2021

Art Basel Week - The Arrival

3:30AM wakeup for a 4AM Lyft ride to Reagan National Airport is the start of the trek to Miami for the 2021 version of the planet's most important art event as the Art Basel Miami week re-starts after a long 2020 pause from the Covidian monster released upon the world by the Communist Party ruling and abusing the long-suffering people of China.

After an eventless flight, another Lyfter takes me to Miami Beach, the car is driven by Daniel, a recent (three years) Cuban gentleman who relates to me his tortuous escape history from the other place where Communism brutalizes its people. Three years ago he won a "lottery" to visit Nicaragua, as soon as he arrived there he "escaped" to neighboring Honduras, from there to Guatemala and onto Mexico.  He relates the horror stories of Mexico and dealing with the corrupt Mexican police.  Eventually, he flies to the United States, is granted refugee asylum and three years later, busting his ass with two jobs, is loving life as a free man in the US.

Welcome to Miami.

Mike Janis, the hardworking director of WGS Contemporary, is waiting for me at our AirBnB almost across the street from the SCOPE Art Fair. Somehow Mike (who drove my van from DC to Miami packed to the gills with art) managed to unload all work to the gallery booth - no small feat considering that part of the trek involves a trip across the sand!

Mike has already installed mixed media glass work by Tim Tate as well as his collaborations with Tony Porto. The work in the booth has been curated by Janis to showcase the theme of Superheroes, and it will also hang work by Mexico's great Dulce Pinzon, England's Simon Monk and yours truly.

Tim Tate, Tony Porto and Mike Janis art in Booth H21 at Scope Art Fair Miami Beach 2021

The entrance to SCOPE has been decorated in a graffiti manner... cough... cough.

SCOPE Art Miami Beach 2021

We begin hanging the remaining work, and one wall goes up quickly.

Campello, Pinzon and Monk wall at SCOPE Art Miami Beach 2021

We get kicked out around 4PM and then head out to find vittles and end up in Janis' fave restaurant hang-out at Naked Taco, where a fabulous waitress brings out fabulous Mexican food and also takes our photo.


Artists Mike Janis and Lenny Campello at Naked Taco Miami Beach 2021

After dinner we head back to our apartment. My daughter Elise calls from Gig Harbor and we chat and she can't believe that we're heading back to the roost at 7PM... and we're in Miami Beach.

Parked in front of our rented condo is a gigantic black Esplanade SUV with enormous tires, dark, tinted windows... and a handicapped parking sticker hanging from the rear view mirror... only in Miami Beach does such a sight seem normal.

Sunday, May 19, 2019

Elise Tarasova

More charcoal and conte with a little color pencils on unfired Bisque... this is my second born: Elise Tarasova nee Campello... about 3 inches by 3 inches...

Elise Tarasova Campello - Charcoal on unfired bisque by F. Lennox Campello


Thursday, April 18, 2019

Mila arrives!

At 9:08 AM, my first grandchild - Mila Audrey Tarasova y Campello was born to my daughter Elise!

Mila Audrey Tarasova y Campello
Mila Audrey Tarasova y Campello

Friday, July 20, 2018

Airborne



Flying cartoon by Campello
Heading to my daughter Elise's wedding reception!

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

If you're in NYC today and wanna do something in Chelsea...

While I'm in Nevada, the Affordable Art Fair NYC has its VIP opening tomorrow at the Met Pavillion in Chelsea!

Jeff Koons, Lenny Campello, Anderson Campello and Elise Campello
Three Campellos in front of Jeff Koons' Popeye
Wynn Hotel and Casino, Las Vegas, NV
Circa 2017, Lenny Campello, Anderson Campello and Elise Campello

Fair runs March 30-April 2 with a VIP Preview on March 29th - Come see fab new pieces by Jodi Walsh as well as terrific new work by Georgia Nassikas and Ned Martin! 

Need passes? Send me a note!

Wednesday, March 08, 2017

Snap Frida

My daughter Elise as Frida via Snapchat filter... cough, cough...


Friday, January 20, 2017

Elise Campello: This is what you came for

My youngest daughter on stage...




Talking about entertainment... a peeps of mine who lives in NYC, was sitting in a booth in a fancy Manhattan hangout, and he overheard a couple of dudes in the booth behind his discussing a talk show for Hillary Clinton.

He says that the suits were talking as though they were in the final stages of the deal, rather than as an "idea."

Interesting.... right???

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory Drawings (1992-1993)

From 1992-1993 I was lucky enough to live in Sonoma, California (I was the last XO of the now-closed Naval Security Group Activity, Skaggs Island), in a cool house across from the Fire Station. My two daughters used to take classes at the Sonoma Ballet Conservatory, and like most of those places that are usually labors of love, they were always trying to raise funds through bake sales, etc.

I came up with the idea of doing some drawings of the students and then have an exhibition of the drawings at my then dealer (Presidio Gallery, also in Sonoma and closed many years ago).  The gallery agreed to the exhibition and that most of the profits from sales would go to the school.
Story in the Sonoma Index-Tribune about the show
Needless to say, all the work sold within a few minutes of the opening, as parents scrambled to get the drawing where their daughter was included. There was even some controversy, as the matriarch of one of Sonoma's oldest wine families had called the gallery prior to the opening and requested to buy all the works where her grand daughter was included. She faxed the gallerist a photo of little Amber (this was 1993... remember faxes?), and several of the pieces sold sight unseen!

The other parents were justifiably pissed, and I was very glad that I had nothing to do with the deal, and my poor dealer had a lot of explaining to do, especially to some of the other Sonoma wine blue bloods.

There were around 80 drawings all together in the exhibition - about 40 framed and 40 shrink wrapped in flat files - all sold! Below is a sampling of the show from some recently digitized slides.

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
24x18 inches. Charcoal and Conte on Paper, 1993
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
24x18 inches. Charcoal and Conte on Paper, 1993
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
10x8 inches. Charcoal and Conte on Paper, 1993
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
10x8 inches. Charcoal and Conte on Paper, 1993
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
24x18 inches. Charcoal and Conte on Paper, 1993
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory (Study for the Above Piece) by F. Lennox Campello
24x18 inches. Graphite on Paper, 1992
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
10x8 inches. Charcoal and Conte on Paper, 1993
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
20x16 inches. Pen and Ink on Paper, 1992
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
10x8 inches. Charcoal and Conte on Paper, 1993
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
24x36 inches. Charcoal and Conte on Paper, 1992
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
24x18 inches. Charcoal and Conte on Paper, 1992
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
20x16 inches. Graphite on Paper, 1993
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Studies for Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
24x18 inches. Graphite Conte on Paper, 1992
In a private collection in Napa, CA

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
20x16 inches. Graphite on Paper, 1992
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
10x8 inches. Charcoal and Conte on Paper, 1993
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory (Left Version) by F. Lennox Campello
20x16 inches. Graphite on Paper, 1993
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
24x18 inches. Charcoal and Conte on Paper, 1993
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
16x24 inches. Pen and Ink Paper, 1992
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
10x8 inches. Charcoal and Conte on Paper, 1993
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
9x12 inches. Charcoal and Conte on Paper, 1993
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
20x16 inches. Charcoal and Conte on Paper, 1993
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
10x8 inches. Graphite on Paper, 1992
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
14x11 inches. Charcoal and on Paper, 1993
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
24x18 inches. Ink Wash on Paper, 1992
In a private collection in San Francisco, CA

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992-1993 Drawing by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
18x24 inches. Pen and Ink on Paper, 1992
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
24x36 inches. Pen and Ink, 1992
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA

Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
12x9 inches. Graphite on Paper, 1992
In a private collection in Sonoma, CA

Elise Campello - Sonoma Ballet Conservatory 1992 Watercolor by F. Lennox Campello
Elise Campello - Sonoma Ballet Conservatory by F. Lennox Campello
12x9 inches. Watercolor on Paper, 1992
In a private collection in San Francisco, CA

Saturday, November 07, 2015

Which one is which?

My daughter and her evil twin...
Elise Lenna Campello Strasser

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Welcome to DC to Peter Nesbett: WPA's new CO

As I noted a few days ago, the WPA has a new Commanding Officer - here's their official news release:
Washington Project for the Arts is pleased to announce the appointment of Peter Nesbett as our new Executive Director and the opening of Washington Produced Artists on November 14, 2015. This announcement comes on the eve of our 40-year anniversary and our upcoming move to The JBG Companies' Atlantic Plumbing development at 8th and V street NW, in the U Street Corridor and cultural district.
Peter's proven leadership and more than 20 years of experience with contemporary arts will further solidify WPA's place in the local, national, and international artistic community.
 
Upon taking office on November 2, Peter will enjoy a full immersion into the DC arts community by meeting with more than 100 artists in his first 100 days as Executive Director.
 
Prior to WPA, Peter was the Associate Director for Programs at The Pew Center for Arts & Culture, a subsidiary of The Pew Charitable Trusts in Philadelphia. He oversaw the capacity-building and professional development programs, while serving as the visual arts specialist. Peter's interest in programming for artists and arts professionals was originally seeded in the 1990s when he led the Seattle Art Museum's Contemporary Art Council and worked in its education department.
 
"Peter is the complete package. He's well educated, has deep curatorial experience, and he really 'gets' the contemporary and alternative visual arts scenes," says WPA Board of Directors member, Elise Hoffmann. "His compelling vision and commitment to centering WPA within the local arts community is just what we need right now."
Here's a good start for the 100 artists to meet (we'll since this is the DMV, by now around 90, since I am sure that about a dozen or so have already moved!

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Elise Campello nominated for best actress!

Congrats to my Klingon daughter Elise L Tor-Cam, who just got nominated for "Best Actress" in a South Sound (Tacoma, WA area) theatrical performance during the 2014/15 season!
Details here.

Thursday, June 04, 2015

Bethesda Painting Awards prize winners

The Bethesda Arts and Entertainment District announced the top three Bethesda Painting Awards prize winners on Wednesday evening during the exhibition’s opening at Gallery B.  Bill Schmidt of Baltimore, MD was awarded “Best in Show” with $10,000; Thomas Dahlberg of Baltimore, MD was named second place and was given $2,000 and Cavan Fleming of Blacksburg, VA received third place and was awarded $1,000.
 
Bill Schmidt has been a finalist in the Bethesda Painting Awards three times before, in 2008, 2013 and 2014. He’s exhibited his artwork extensively in the Mid-Atlantic region. He has received numerous grants and awards including two Maryland State Arts Council Individual Artist Awards. In 2004 he attended the Alfred and Trafford Klots Residency Program in Rocheforten-Terre, France. Schmidt studied at the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts and the Skowhegan School of Painting and Sculpture in Skowhegan, ME before moving to Baltimore in 1969. He received a Master of Fine Art from the Hoffberger School of Painting at Maryland Institute College of Art in 1971. In 2007, he was named the Director of the Post-Baccalaureate Program at the Maryland Institute College of Art after being its Resident Artist since 1996.
 
 The eight artists selected as finalists are:
 
Thomas Dahlberg - Baltimore, MD
Cavan Fleming - Blacksburg, VA
Lillian Hoover - Baltimore, MD
Hedieh Ilchi - Rockville, MD
Boram Lee - Baltimore, MD
Danielle Mysliwiec - Takoma Park, MD
Bill Schmidt - Baltimore, MD
Elise Schweitzer - Roanoke, VA
 
A public opening will be held on Friday, June 12, 2015 from 6 – 9pm in conjunction with the Bethesda Art Walk. Gallery B is located at 7700 Wisconsin Avenue, Suite E in downtown Bethesda. The work of the eight finalists will be on display from June 3-27, 2015. Gallery hours are Wednesday through Saturday from 12 – 6pm.

Entries were juried by Arnold Kemp, Chair and Associate Professor in the Department of Painting and Printmaking at Virginia Commonwealth University; John Morrell, Chair of the Department of Art and Art History and Associate Professor of Painting and Drawing at Georgetown University; and Nora Sturges, Professor of Art and head of Painting and Drawing at Towson University.
 
The Bethesda Painting Awards was established by Carol Trawick in 2005. Ms. Trawick has served as a community activist for more than 25 years in downtown Bethesda. She is past chair of the Bethesda Arts and Entertainment District, past chair of the Bethesda Urban Partnership, Inc. and founder of The Trawick Prize: Bethesda Contemporary Art Awards.
 
For more information, please visit www.bethesda.org.

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Campello reviewed

"Elise Campello is Sally Bowles, the free-spirited, devil-may-care character who demands herself to be oblivious to all things negative surrounding her lest she must be taken seriously.  Campello is glibly charming in the role and shows sequestered understanding of the underlying meaning to the part.  Campello sings the title song, “Cabaret,” acting the words instead of just setting them to music – giving them true meaning."
Review here: http://thesubtimes.com/2015/05/24/cabaret-at-tlt-reveals-decadence-and-danger-of-the-era/

Saturday, May 02, 2015

Campellos in the news

At the dawn of the 1930's in Berlin, the Nazis are rising to power. In the Kit Kat Klub, a seedy cabaret full of interesting characters and decadent celebration, we find the naïve English cabaret performer Sally Bowles (Elise Campello), along with the cabaret girls and boys, and the infamous Emcee (Mauro Bozzo). We follow her relationship with American writer Cliff Bradshaw (Niclas R. Olson) as the Nazis begin their takeover of the city.
Details here.

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Burns Night

Burns Night is celebrated each year in Scotland (and around the world) on or around January 25. It is in celebration to commemorate the life of the bard (poet) Robert Burns, who was born on January 25, 1759. It is also a great excuse for Scots and people of Scottish ancestry around the world (where the one-drop rule applies) to get together and drink single malt, and eat haggis, and drink single malt.


I lived in a 307-year-old farmhouse in Scotland from 1989-1992. The farmhouse, which had a fireplace in almost every room, and two in the bathroom and two in the huge kitchen, was named Little Keithock Farmhouse and was full of ghosts, as my two daughters, Vanessa and Elise can testify to. That's my drawing of the house to the left.

My landlord (Mr. Stewart) was a really nice guy and a big wig in the nearest town, which was the most ancient village of Brechin, and in 1991 he invited me to the village's Burns Night and not only that, but also to its greatest honor: to deliver the Burns' ode to the haggis and then stab the beast... in case you don't know, the whole focus of the evening centers on the entrance of the haggis on a large platter to the haunting sounds of a piper playing bagpipes. As soon as the haggis is on the table, the host (in this case me) reads the "Address to a Haggis." 

This is Robert Burns' ode written to that succulent Scottish dish. At the end of the reading, the haggis is ceremonially stabbed and sliced into two pieces and the meal begins.

This is what I was supposed to memorize and deliver:

Address to a Haggis

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin'-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye worthy o' a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o need,
While thro your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An cut you up wi ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
The auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
'Bethankit' hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi perfect scunner,
Looks down wi sneering, scornfu view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll make it whissle;
An legs an arms, an heads will sned,
Like taps o thrissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies:
But, if ye wish her gratefu prayer,
Gie her a Haggis
As you can see, it is not written (nor delivered) in English, but in Old Scots language.

Being the amazing Renaissance man that I am, I took the challenge, and for about three months, I practiced my Scottish accent, with the help of Vanessa and Elise's local Scottish babysitter. 

I practiced and practiced, and she damned near died laughing most of the times... but towards the end she told me that I was pretty good and that I sounded like someone "from the Orkneys..."

On Burns' Night I arrived at the magnificent Victorian building that is the Brechin's Mechanics Hall, wearing my official US Navy kilt with the official US Navy tartan, ready for Freddy and confident about the challenge ahead. 

And yes, my babysitter had advised me (as all Scots do to newbies just to screw with them) that I was supposed to go commando under the tartan, which I did, and which caused a nightmarish next-morning shower event worth of its own story).

Scots are some of the friendliest people on this planet and Scotland is easily the most beautiful land on that same planet, and as a key part of the Night, everyone wanted to treat me to a drink.

That where the problem started.

I got there on an empty stomach about 7PM, you see... and to make things worse, I don't really like Scotch, single malt or otherwise... I know, I know... heresy.

But as a good guest, I accepted the dozens of Scotches delivered to me by the region's nicest gentlemen, and of course, everyone had a toast, and so... ahhh, I drank a lot of Scotland's best-known product.

The only issue to my spectacular abilities to hold my booze was the fact that the haggis wasn't actually delivered until 11PM, and by then I was three sheets to the wind and as drunk as I have ever been but a hundred times worse!

I actually like haggis and whenever it is on the menu (here or there) I usually order it... most of you would gag if you knew what it is... cough, cough... so that's not the storyline here.

Anyway, around 11PM, I was tipped that the haggis was being delivered... the bagpipes began to cry that spectacular sound of the Celtic world, and the huge platter arrived.

I walked unsteadily towards it, grabbed the large, sharp knife, and as protocol calls for, began waving it around while I started, in my best Scottish accent, to pay homage to the haggis while at the same time trying not to slice off my ears.

The hall was silent, and a couple of hundred people followed my every word and movement of the knife, sculpting invisible shapes in the air.

And then, as called for, I stabbed the beast and cut it in two.

The hall exploded in applause and I walked back to my table... so far so good... other than the unexplained laughter.

Mr. Stewart, who was sitting next to me, was standing and clapping furiously, as was everyone else. This by itself, my addled brain registered, was curious, as Scots are great people, but rather reserved. To my slight alarm, I also noted that he was laughing really, really, really hard.

So hard, in fact, that tears were running down his face.


Oh, oh....

He slapped my back as he hugged me and continued to laugh, and placed yet another single malt on my hand.

"That was great!" (sounds like "gret" in Scottish) he shouted above the din, as tears ran down his handsome face, "We've never heard 'Address to a Haggis' recited in a Japanese accent before!"

"What a gret ideee!"

Put yourself in my place for a moment here... there are a couple of hundred Scots thinking that I just pulled a comedy routine on their sacred ode, and they're laughing their ass off, so it must have worked... right???

"I practiced like crazy," I said, suddenly quite sober.

And that's the story of how this guy delivered on a Burns' Night in Brechin, Scotland, got drunk on his ass, made a lot of really good, decent Scottish men laugh, and had a most memorable night.

The story of how I got home, as I clearly couldn't and didn't drive, is a story for another day... suffice it to say that thistles usually grow on the side of most Scottish back roads and that if you brush against them, you are really fucked for a while. 

Scotch and thistles don't mix well on a really dark night in the Scottish country side.

Campello gets reviewed

Not me, but my youngest daughter Elise Torralbo (nee Campello):
The cast all put in solid performances without a single weak link, but special mention goes out to Elise Torralbo. Playing Olive Ostrovsky. Torralbo is no stranger to TMP, as she was seen in last year’s production of “Shout! The Mod Musical” and takes center stage here with a heartfelt rendition of “The I Love You Song,” and some surprising rope climbing antics that steal the show in “Life is Pandemonium.” Though Torralbo gets the spotlight, everyone in the cast puts in a strong performance...
Read the review by 


Elise Torralbo plays Olive Ostrovsky (except for the shows of January 23 to 25, when Rachel Roewer takes on the role). Olive’s mother is on retreat in India, learning to be enlightened while her father is once again late to one of her events due to work. Torralbo wrings sympathy from the audience as the poor little ignored child who turns her desire for parental affection to her only friend, the dictionary.
Read the review by