Olympic Predictions

The Olympics start tomorrow - we'll be watching avidly and predict that:

Several Chinese athletes whom no one has ever heard of, will win gold medals in some arcane sports that no one watches.

An American sprinter, favorite to win a medal, will pull a muscle in one of the qualifying rounds.

Sullen-looking Russian female gymnasts will battle it out with very young Chinese gymnasts who never smile either, but somehow manage not to look sullen.

Cuban boxers with years and years of "amateur" experience will beat up on everybody.

Skinny African-born long distance runners will run for a variety of non-African nations - where they are now citizens - and sometimes still lose to someone still running for Kenya.

Because of the way that she looks, Americans (and only Americans) will wonder in silence how come Dara's last name is "Torres."

Some nation which has never won the FIFA World Cup will nevertheless win the Olympic gold medal for soccer.

The United States better win the gold medal in basketball or someone is getting their butt kicked.